Dick Joke Five of Seven

Today's Dick Joke is a little longer than normal, like my--well, you get it by now:


A man walks into a business conference, but doesn't know where to check in. He walks up to an assistant and says, "My name is George Ferguson, can you tell me where to sign in?"


So the coordinator points to a row of signs and says "These signs indicate the first few letters of your last name and that person will have your name tag. There's your sign right there."


Then the assistant points to this sign:

Then a woman walks up to the assistant and says, "My name is Sally Jones, can you please tell me where to sign in?"

So the assistant tells her, "These signs indicate the first few letters of your last name and that person will have your name tag. There's your sign right there."

Then the assistant points to this sign:

Then a man rushes in talking loudly on his cell phone, looks around the conference, slams his briefcase down on the ground, grabs the assistant by the collar and says, while still talking on his cell phone, "My name is Bill Peters and I'm a big shot around here! This conference is organized like a piece of shit! Where the fuck do I sign in?"

So the assistant tells him, "These signs indicate the first few letters of your last name and that person will have your name tag. There's your sign right there."

Then the assistant points to this sign:

My thoughts:

This is a visual Dick Joke which is pretty rare because, let's face it, most visual dick jokes would feature a different picture. I actually wrote two or three drafts of this, because it was pretty wordy and I kept trying to trim the set up down as much as possible. I think I got it pretty tight near the end, something my dick knows about.

This is actually based on a true story and those are pictures I took with my cell phone. I worked a conference where we had to sign in a few hundred people, so to make the sign in process faster, they put us each at a window with 100 name tags each. Then some genius put the last few letters of each group of names on call boards above each window to help the attendees know where to go. And these were the way the names broke down. "A-Dic" was my favorite, but "Dil-Hi" just sounds funny and if I was a hooker with a broken ankle I would probably have gone to "Ho-Med."

So anyway, I was excited to take a real life situation and turn it into a dick joke. This is also my first dick joke that doesn't fall under the category of "MDISBig" or "MDISSmall."