Dick Joke Four of Seven

Today's Dick Joke:


"My dick is so small, physicists can only measure it indirectly."

My thoughts:

If you know anything about science, you might be amused by this, but if you are a scientific moron, it might not quite hit the mark--like my dick. I messed around with the phrasing on this one trying to work in the word "neutrino" but ultimately I thought shorter was better--like my dick.

Actually, I did a little reading, and some possible jokes in this vein (sorry) could go something like:

"My dick is so small that scientist claim that the smallest particles in the universe are quarks, leptons and my dick."

Or

"My dick is so small physicists are trying to determine how it moves."

Or yet another version of the joke would go like this:

"My dick is so small that scientists have numerous ways to determine the size of it, depending on what you can assume is known. For example, if you know that one mole of any substance contains Avogadro's number of atoms and weighs the atomic weight in grams of that substance, you can trim a piece of that material until its mass in grams equals its atomic weight. Then measure the volume and divide by Avogadro's number to find the volume of one atom. Taking the cube root of that volume gives the length of a side of a cube which would just contain that atom.

For example, consider my dick whose atomic weight is 55.847 and density is about 7.874 gm/cm^3. So 7.09 cm^3 of my dick has a mass of 55.847 gm and contains Avogadro's number of atoms. Dividing 7.09 cm^3/mole by 6.022 x 10+23 atoms/mole, you get 1.18 x 10-23 cm^3/my dick. Taking the cube root of this gives a size of 2.28 x 10-8 cm.

A more direct way, though not as simple to understand, is by scattering x-rays off a crystal of my dick. The crystal acts like a diffraction grating with a slit spacing equal to the atomic spacing (which is just the size of the atoms). From analyzing the diffraction patterns, it is possible in a straightforward way to determine the relative positions of the layers of atoms and determine the size of my dick."

I ultimately did not use this version because it would be hard to understand, memorize, doesn't use the phrase "my dick" often enough and is of course, too long, like my dick.